


A Love That Lets Go

by mikaylalwrites



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alexander Hamilton Being an Asshole, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bisexual Eliza Schuyler, Bittersweet Ending, Canon Era, Canonical Character Death, Eliza Schuyler-centric, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Good Sibling Angelica Schuyler, Historical Inaccuracy, Historical References, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Implied/Referenced Sexual Harassment, James Reynolds Being an Asshole, Lesbian Maria Reynolds, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Minor Alexander Hamilton/Elizabeth "Eliza" Schuyler, Minor Alexander Hamilton/Maria Reynolds, Minor Character Death, POV Eliza Schuyler, Past James Reynolds/Maria Reynolds, Period Typical Attitudes, Protect Maria Reynolds, Sad and Happy, Supportive Angelica Schuyler, The Reynolds Pamphlet, but he sort of redeems himself? kinda?, maria gets a divorce, woop woop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:40:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26081338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mikaylalwrites/pseuds/mikaylalwrites
Summary: ❝Right now the right kind of loveis a love that lets go.❞Eliza always knew she was different.
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton & Elizabeth "Eliza" Schuyler, Alexander Hamilton/Elizabeth "Eliza" Schuyler, Alexander Hamilton/Maria Reynolds, Maria Reynolds/Elizabeth "Eliza" Schuyler
Comments: 2
Kudos: 21





	A Love That Lets Go

Eliza always knew she was different. She never had a word for it but she knew. From the moment they were born, it felt like her and her sisters were being readied to be married off to a man of status. Despite her reservations, Eliza never mentioned she wanted more for her life. She never wanted to disappoint anyone by admitting marriage was not her life goal. Marriage was full of obligation. She was to please her husband. She was to bear his children. She was to stay in her social circle of women and never involve herself in politics. So much was happening around her all the time and she was not to be a part of it. She wanted to leave the world better than she left it, not be a dawdle about as a wife waiting for her husband to change the world for her. But she married. 

Alexander Hamilton was his name. He had none of the things a woman of her status was to marry for. He had no money, no status, no notable family. He had a passion for change and a beautiful smile and that is what Eliza loved about him. She was surprised but ecstatic when her father gave them his blessing. All of their most intimate friends were invited. Angelica made a lovely toast. Then, Alexander went off to fight again. 

He was never suffocating, quite the opposite. They exchanged letters as often as they could and Alexander always found ways to make her fall in love with him all over again. Yet, she found herself becoming the wife in waiting she never wanted to be. Her letters to Angelica and morning walks were the closest things to freedom she felt. When she found out she was pregnant, she felt conflicted. She sent correspondence to General Washington, requesting Alexander to be at her side. During the time she waited for her husband’s return, she tried to assess exactly how she felt about the baby. She would love their child no matter what but yet it felt like another restriction to her freedom. Another sign of her position as a woman. Though Angelica was her dearest sister, she couldn’t relay these feelings to her. She felt alone in her conflict. When Alexander came back home, she tried to convince him to stay with her and the baby, so he could wait for the world to change with her. The moment General Washington requested his presence again, he went. 

Alexander’s preoccupation didn’t cease after the war ended. He became the restless Secretary of the Treasury in President, no longer General, Washington’s cabinet. It only increased when the Secretary of State, and soon Alexander’s adversary, Thomas Jefferson, returned from France. Their son Philip and daughter Angelica grew while he tried to convince Congress his debt plan was the right one to go with and fought relentlessly with Jefferson. Eliza missed Angelica, who was in London with her husband, and her dear old father so she decided it was about time everyone took a break and spent time away as a family. 

Angelica was overjoyed with the prospect of seeing her sister and her niece and nephew for the summer. Angelica and Philip were excitedly chattering about seeing their aunt and grandfather and spending time at the lake. Alexander was difficult to convince. At first, he implied he would think about it then he said he was far too busy getting his plan through Congress. 

The summer went on without him. She, Angie, and Philip spent copious amounts of time at the lake. She had the deep conversations with Angelica she missed from her childhood. Sometimes she felt only they understood each other. She only ever told Eliza about the true unhappiness of her marriage. Angelica knew Eliza’s affections didn’t only extend to men. Yet, Eliza couldn’t quite tell Angelica she wished to do more with her life than bear children and be a dutiful wife. Eliza was altruistic by default. She never liked complaining. 

Her father was getting on in his years but still as happy as ever to see his daughters. He asked about their respective husbands and talked of Peggy’s last visit. He even ran around with Angie and Pip. It was so bittersweet when the summer ended and Eliza and the kids made their way back home. She enjoyed the time upstate but also missed the loving embrace of her husband. 

Alexander was in a loving mood when she returned and they were more intimate than previously. It wouldn’t last. 

Eliza was disgusted she had to learn of her husband’s infidelity through a public pamphlet. She had believed their marriage meant more than that. That the reputation of their family meant more than that. How foolish. She had limited her wants and dreams to be with Alexander. She had braved every lonely night while he was fighting for independence. She had accepted that he would not compromise on his goals and allowed his career to come first. It wasn’t enough. She wasn’t enough. She couldn’t stop the tears and found that burning the letters she wrote did not satisfy her. Avoiding Alexander didn’t help either. She felt out of place in her own home. Her walks were longer these days. 

It was on one of these walks she met someone she never expected to. Eliza was in a particularly poor mood and walked much farther than she had intended when the walk began. She was in a neighborhood she didn’t recognize and considered walking back when she saw a woman younger than her crying on a bench. With everything that had happened, Eliza’s heart ached for the woman and she could not leave her alone. She pushed her dress toward her legs and took a place next to the crying woman. Despite her tears, Eliza couldn’t help but notice how beautiful she was. She had dark curls and soft features. Her dress was surprisingly lovely for this part of town. 

“Are you alright?” Eliza asked the woman in a tone barely above a whisper. The woman shook her head slightly. “Elizabeth Schuyler Hamilton, and you are?” 

The woman’s face shot up so quickly Eliza felt second-hand whiplash. “You’re his wife.” Eliza looked at the woman’s beautiful brown eyes and decided she didn’t like them full of tears as they were now. Then what the woman has said occurred to her. 

“You’re her,” she said in a bit of shock. “You’re the woman my husband cheated on me with. Maria Reynolds.” 

“I’m sorry,” Maria said. 

Eliza was increasingly shocked, “You’re sorry?” 

“Yes,” she said, nodding. “I never meant what happened to happen. I needed to get away from my husband, James, and I thought the Secretary of the Treasury might be able to help me. I hadn’t meant to call on him so late but it was urgent. I thought Secretary Hamilton would give me some money for temporary residence and possibly walk me there. I never wanted nor asked to share a bed with him. I swear. He gave me the money, walked me home, then the next thing I recall, it was over.” 

“Your husband, was he terrible to you?” 

Maria nodded, “Very. I never felt safe.” She shook her head. “It’s not true, what your husband wrote. I had nothing to do with my husband extorting him.” 

“Then why?” 

“I thought he would help me if I gave him what he wanted.” 

Eliza bit her lip. She never imagined the position Maria Reynolds had been in. Only her husband was to blame for his infidelity but she had insulted Maria in her passing thoughts. 

Maria wiped a tear from her eye. “I never thought he would publish that pamphlet. My reputation is ruined. Everyone thinks I’m a whore.” 

“He effectively drove a knife through his career with that pamphlet,” Eliza said quietly. “I take solace in that.” 

“I wish I could,” Maria mumbled. “I haven’t been able to find a place to stay and after I stopped receiving money from Secretary Hamilton, I had to return to my husband. He wasn’t in a good mood.” 

“I think I can be of some help,” Eliza said, taking the younger woman’s hand. “I pay for your room and board then find a lawyer for your divorce from your husband.” 

“Even after what I did to you?” 

Eliza shook her head. “You didn’t do anything to me. My husband did.” 

“Thank you so much, Mrs. Hamilton. I can’t begin to tell you how much this means to me.” 

Elza smiled. “Call me Eliza, please.”  
“Well, thank you, Eliza.” 

Eliza managed to find an inn that would house Maria after applying a little pressure on the inkeep. He wouldn’t throw out a friend of Eliza Schuyler Hamilton if he knew what was good for him. She was a Schuyler and wife of the Secretary of the Treasury — not exactly the combination to be messed with. Eliza went as far as to buy Maria a meal and sit while she enjoyed it. Eliza had wanted her whole life to leave the world better than she had found it and helping Maria felt like the first step. Maria fervently thanked her every few minutes and each time Eliza assured her it wasn’t any trouble. Once Maria finished her meal she thanked Eliza one last time and the latter was on her way.

Eliza had found a sense of purpose other than being wife and mother. She felt significantly more free as she visited Maria over the next few weeks. Alexander never questioned where his wife was going and she never told him. It was not that she was prone to keeping secrets, she just never felt that it was important enough to break their string of silence. 

One day, she took Maria shopping. Not for the purpose of helping her but just as a friendly outing. Eliza found that she enjoyed Maria’s company. She never viewed the younger woman as a charity case but now she considered her a friend. These days, she had a surprising lack of them.

Eliza couldn’t help but surreptitiously glance at Maria as they looked at fabrics. Eliza wasn’t the best seamstress. When she was little, her dresses were made by others and when she married Alexander she only occasionally took up the habit. Maria, as far as she knew, made all of her own dresses. That was why they were looking for fabrics and not seamstresses in the first place. Eliza happened to glance away when Maria walked up and tapped her shoulder. She was absolutely beaming. 

“Hmm?” 

“Don’t you think this color would be absolutely beautiful on you?” she asked, holding a bit of cotton dyed navy blue. 

“On me?” Eliza chuckled. “We’re here to get you fabric, not me.” 

“Mmm I don’t know,” Maria said. “Navy isn’t my color” — she holds the fabric up to Eliza’s cheek — “You, however, would look breathtaking in it. Imagine all the men’s faces if you walked into a dance with an evening gown made from this.” 

Eliza rolled her eyes but couldn’t help the blush that crept up to her cheeks. “I’m still married, you know.” 

“Your husband doesn’t seem to care about that,” Maria said to herself but Eliza heard it anyway. She made a strange expression — somewhere between anger and sadness. “Oh, Eliza, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have said that aloud.” 

“Probably not.” 

“You deserve better, you know.” 

“You say that as if it’s simple to just leave everything behind,” Eliza said. “I love Alexander. At least, I think I do. And even if I didn’t...divorce isn’t easy to obtain.” 

“I know.,” Maria said sadly. 

Eliza’s mind lingered on what Maria said over the coming weeks. Was what Alexander did forgivable? Could she ever rekindle what they once had? She had begun talking to him again and he seemed sorry. She was never on his mind when Maria was in their bed; that thought wouldn’t leave Eliza’s mind. Alexander was on her mind almost every minute of every day and he had forgotten her long enough to have another woman in their bed more than once. 

Soon, Eliza had good news for Maria: she had found a lawyer willing to represent her in her divorce case. Even so, it was unlikely Maria would receive any of her money or property unless James gave it willingly. It was simply not a luxury women had. Eliza found herself on the same bench where she had met Maria to break in the news but significantly earlier in the day. Maria was so ecstatic, she invited Eliza to share a bottle of wine in her room at the inn. 

The two women clinked glasses and drank happily. Maria would soon be free of a man who didn’t deserve her. Eliza wasn’t nearly drunk, still, she couldn’t help but stare at her. She was so unbelievably beautiful. Eliza swore she never saw someone so akin to the beauty of the lake back at her father’s. Maria’s smile reminded her of the moon that reflected in the waters at night. Eliza wasn’t thinking about anything except the woman in front of her at that moment. She set down her glass and leaned closer to her. When their lips brushed, she felt an electricity that was unmatched by any kiss that she and Alexander had shared in the past year. She gingerly added more pressure and allowed herself to kiss Maria fully. She closed her eyes and breathed in the scent of the perfume she had loaned her. Eliza thought it smelled better on her skin. 

As soon as her lips left Maria’s, she felt an intense feeling of guilt. 

“I don’t know why I just did that,” Eliza said hurriedly. “I have to go. Goodnight, Maria.” 

Maria hadn’t gotten a word in before Eliza was out of the inn and down the street. What had she done? She had never kissed another woman in her entire life. Some part of her always knew she liked women as she did men but she never allowed herself to act on her sinful thoughts. She was married albeit to an unfaithful man. Now, she was equal to him — just as immoral. She knew she would do this better than he had. She would tell him immediately, privately, and away from the children. Her heart drummed in her throat as she entered the house. Angie and Pip greeted her happily but she only asked where their father was. They pointed to the study and she went. She knocked softly and entered only when he told her to. His hair was tied back messily and his glasses were about to fall off the end of his nose. It was his typical look of occupation. 

“Alexander,” she said shakily. “I have to tell you something.” 

He motioned for her to go on. 

“I’ve been spending these past several weeks with Maria Reynolds,” Eliza told him. Alexander looked considerably surprised but didn’t say anything. “I have been helping her get away from her husband and yesterday I found her a lawyer for her divorce. I broke the news to her this morning and after a long talk, she invited me to her room at the in to celebrate. I kissed her.” 

“Oh.” 

Eliza cocked her head in confusion. “You aren’t mad? Or disgusted? Didn’t you hear what I told you?” 

“Yes, I heard,” he said slowly. He took off his glasses and rubbed his face. “I have to admit, this was the last thing on Earth I thought I would hear today. I don’t have the right to be mad at you, Eliza. If anything, I deserve it. But I don’t think you did it to spite me. That isn’t like you. Disgusted? Um, well, I don’t know. As you know, I’m not particularly religious. I suppose there is a god. I don’t know why he wouldn’t make things exactly as they are supposed to be.” 

“But the Bible-” 

Alexander took her hands. “Eliza, the Bible was written by man. It is just as faulty as man. We can’t ever know what God intends.” He smiles sadly. “I know I don’t deserve you, Eliza. If Maria loves you, she deserves you more than I do, even if she is a woman.” 

“I don’t think Maria is like me,” Eliza admitted with a tear streaming down her face. “She seems normal.” 

“You never know. I never knew you liked women the same as men, and I’m your husband.” 

Alexander’s words lingered in Eliza’s mind for the rest of the week, along with the feeling of Maria’s lips on hers. Though she vehemently denied it, even to herself, she silently hoped she would get the opportunity to kiss Maria again. Eliza busied herself with the children and reading poetry books. She knew it wasn’t fair but avoiding Maria seemed like a better course of action than having a conversation that could potentially have their friendship ruined or worse. 

Her son, her little boy, was bleeding out while the doctor tried to do everything he could to stop it. There was very little to be done, however. He had been shot in a pointless duel over a few choice words said by George Eaker about Alexander. Pride is such a silly thing to die for. Eliza couldn’t help but sing as she watched him slipping away. Singing had always been their thing. Yet, despite the distraction, she knew he would die and that Alexander knew about the duel beforehand. She couldn’t blame him though Philip had dueled with his guns. He couldn’t have known Eaker was an honorless coward. He couldn’t have known Philip would end his life by bullet wound so young. It was a lapse in judgement, surely, but Philip’s death was only the fault of the one who shot him. She screamed as the light left his eyes. 

Maria arrived minutes after Eliza ran outside in tears. Eliza didn’t know who had told her but was not in a place to care about their previous awkwardness. Without a moment’s hesitation, Eliza embraced the younger woman. Neither said anything for a long while. The silence spoke volumes for the both of them. Alexander was the one to break it when he came outside.

“Eliza,” he said. “I hope you don’t mind that I sent for her. I thought you could use better company.” 

Eliza nodded. 

So, that was how she knew. 

Alexander pushed away a strand of hair that had fallen from his bun. “Uh, well, I’ll see you back at home.” 

With that, he entered a carriage and was off. 

Maria spoke next, “Eliza, may we take a walk?” 

Eliza nodded. 

The younger woman fiddled with the front of her dress. “You just lost your son and I’m terribly sorry for your loss. Um, I think there is something we should talk about. If you’ll let me walk you to the inn?” 

Eliza nodded. 

Both women began to walk in the direction of the inn. “I haven’t seen you in a long time and it isn’t hard to imagine why. I don’t think either of us expected what happened to happen. I never imagined I would be friends with you after the affair and I definitely never pictured anything more.” Maria paused, then added much quieter, “I’ve never kissed a woman before.” 

Eliza shook her head then whispered, “Neither have I.” 

Maria took a deep breath and asked carefully, “Did you mean to?” 

“No,” Eliza said quickly. Maria had a strange expression. It wasn’t the truth but it was what the world wanted her to say. The ladies were close to the inn now. Perhaps it was time to stop saying what the world wanted her to or what would be beneficial for others. “Yes.” 

Maria looked confused. “Yes, what?” 

“Yes, I meant to kiss you,” Eliza admitted. “I thought if I lied to myself about it, it would make it true. I thought you were beautiful from the moment I met you and in that moment, I knew I wanted to be more than your friend.” 

Maria didn’t say anything until they were in her room. 

“At first, I wasn’t sure what to say. I never thought I had any sort of homosexual tendecies. You avoiding me gave me time to think and I don’t believe I like men romantically or sexually at all.” 

Eliza’s eyes widened. “Oh.” 

Maria took a seat on her bed. “James was...good in the beginning. Or, so I thought at the time. He was pleasant and handsome but not fulfilling. Never was. Your husband, if you’ll excuse what I’m about to say, wasn’t what I was expecting. It felt like a chore. It was a quid pro quo, nothing more. He’s a beautiful man but that’s the problem: He’s a man.” 

“I never thought anyone would be discussing, with me, my husband in bed,” Eliza laughed. “You don’t think a man will come along and change your mind?” 

Maria shook her head. “No, I don’t. And I don’t want one to” — she took Eliza’s hands — “I want you, Eliza. For as long as you’ll have me.” 

“But Alexander-” 

“Eliza,” Maria said seriously. “Do you love him anymore? Or are you worried about the world finding out?” 

She considered this for a moment. “I love him but not in the way I once did. I don’t know if I ever can again.” 

“Then be with me instead,” Maria said. “Even if it’s just for the moment.” 

“I don’t know if I’m ready to say goodbye yet,” Eliza said. “Even if our marriage isn’t as happy as it once was.” 

Maria nodded then placed a kiss on Eliza’s cheek. “Can I still kiss you while you decide?” 

Eliza blushed. “I would like that.” 

Maria’s eyes widened as if she had just remembered something. Then she went looking through her things. “Do you remember that navy fabric I showed you?” 

Eliza nodded. 

Maria pulled out a stunning evening dress. “I found some other odds and ends with the money you gave me and made you this. It’s sad I won’t be able to go to any of the social events you would wear this at.” 

Eliza smiled. “It’s so lovely, Maria. You really didn’t have to go through the trouble.” 

“Now you have a dress as beautiful as you are.” 

Eliza blushed. 

It was at that point Eliza decided she wouldn’t be wearing the dress at any social event. Who better to wear the dress for than its attractive seamstress?

She would ask Alexander to find somewhere to go with Angie then invite Maria to dinner. Then, she would have a nice dinner made while she showed her the garden Alexander was so keen on growing. He had only taken up gardening recently with the help of Angie but it was slowly becoming the prettiest thing owned by the Hamiltons. 

Eliza had never been so nervous as when she penned Maria’s dinner invitation. Though she could have showed up at the inn and invited her in person, there was something strangely romantic about a formal invitation. She sent it out and hoped it would arrive promptly so that the two of them could have their first proper date in the least formal form of courting Eliza had ever been a part of. 

The cooks had been preparing food for a considerable amount of time and had been directed to be midway finished fifteen minutes before Maria was set to arrive. Eliza was still in her and Alexander’s once shared bedroom, where most of her things still were, looking in the mirror to make sure she looked presentable. She couldn’t help but agree with Maria that the dress looked beautiful on her. With her hair up in a French braid, the look was complete. Eliza took a deep breath and made her way to the entryway of the house. She wanted this evening to be as close to perfect as it possibly could.  
There was a knock at the door and Eliza moved to open it. Maria was there in a dress of hers that she had never seen before. She looked breathtaking. Maria clearly thought the same of Eliza because she stopped in her tracks for a moment. 

“You look more beautiful than the moon tonight, Eliza,” she said. 

Eliza blushed. “You too.” She motioned to the door that led to the garden. “Should we take a walk?” 

“Sure.” 

The two ladies walked on a path in the garden through the vegetables in the flowers. Maria was looking at the flora but Eliza was looking at her. “This was all Mr. Hamilton’s idea?” 

“Since President Adams removed him from his cabinet, gardening has been keeping him occupied. Then came the election of President Jefferson, and Philip’s death so I think it’s one of the few things keeping him sane.” 

Maria hummed. “What about Angie?” 

“Alexander was hoping to marry her off soon but I don’t know if that will be possible.” 

“She doesn’t want to?” Maria asked. 

Eliza shook her head. “Angie hasn’t been quite right these past few days.” 

“Do you think it has to do with Philip?” 

“I don’t know.” 

Maria bit her lip. “And your sisters?” 

Eliza sighed. “Angelica is happy from what I hear. Well, as happy as one can be with Peggy’s deteriorating health. I don’t know how much more I can lose. In a way, I lost my husband a few years back, I lost Philip, and I may very soon lose a dear sister. She was never as close as Angelica and I but I love her” — Eliza paused — “Sorry, this is supposed to be romantic and I’m being morbid.” 

Maria shook her head. “No, it’s alright. I care about you. You’ve lost a lot but you still have me.” 

“Thank you, Maria.” 

Dinner was done and the two women returned inside to eat it. After the meal, Eliza joined Maria at the door. The younger woman placed a hand under the other’s chin and gave her a slow kiss. 

“Goodnight, Eliza,” she said into the older woman’s ear. Then she was gone. 

Despite Alexander sending for all manner of psychiatrists, Angie’s state did not get better over the next month. For the first several weeks, she refused to eat on her own. Eliza had taken up the task of coaxing her into doing so, much like when she was little. Up to now, she had spoken very little and acted quite childlike. Eliza entered her room like she usually did to tidy up and try to make conversation. 

“Good morning, Angie,” she said softly. “I’m here to straighten up.” Angie made a short nod. “The spring flowers are going to start growing again soon. I think you should go out and see the garden when they do.” 

There was a long pause as Eliza straightened the covers on her bed. 

“Your father says the broccoli came in nicely. The cooks should be making a nice soup for dinner.” 

Another pause. 

“I heard from your aunt Angelica. I finally worked up the courage to tell her about Maria. I thought she would react badly but she’s in full support. She says she just wants me to be happy. I told her about you too and she says she wishes you well and hopes to see you again soon. Wouldn’t that be great, seeing her again?” 

Angelica didn’t say anything. 

Eliza wiped the last bit of dust off her dresser with a cloth. Then she moved to give Angie a kiss on the forehead. “I love you.” 

With that, she walked out of the room. 

Alexander was waiting for her in the hallway. 

“You should let a maid do that for her,” he said.

Eliza shook her head. “No. I need to see her as much as I can. I’m her mother, I’m responsible for her.” 

Alexander sighed. “It’s so much to do on your own.” 

“Then help me.” 

“I’m doing everything I can, Eliza. Everyone I’ve sent for has been useless.” 

“I miss her so much, Alexander,” Eliza cried. “She was so passionate about music and so intelligent. And now…” 

“She’s an invalid.” 

“Please don’t say that.” 

“Eliza, we should have her moved somewhere,” Alexander said, pushing up his glasses. 

“We are not sending our daughter to a lunatic asylum,” Eliza said, voice rising. “I love Angie and sending her away is giving up on her.” 

“I love her too, Eliza. But-” 

“But nothing, Alexander!” Eliza shouted, then quieter, “She stays.” 

The next month came with worse news. The illness that had been plaguing Peggy Schuyler had taken her life. The Hamiltons had heard of it through a letter from her husband. Eliza said very little that day or the next. Everything was quickly piling up and eating away at her. Maria arrived at The Grange, very worried about Eliza. Alexander let her in with a curt nod and led her to Eliza’s bedroom, where she was trying, in vain, to distract herself with a book. 

Maria knocked on the wood in the doorway. “May I come in?” 

Eliza put her book down and nodded. 

“I heard about what happened to your sister. I’m very sorry.” 

“Thank you,” Eliza said quietly. 

“May I join you in bed?” Maria asked. Eliza nodded then watched with a little surprise as she walked to the door and shut it. Her surprise grew as the younger woman undid the buttons of her dress and let it fall to the floor. Her petticoats and corset followed. She was left in her chemise and a pair of shoes, the latter of which she soon ditched. Then, she slid into the spot on the bed next to Eliza. 

“I didn’t expect you to strip for me,” Eliza said, still surprised. 

“Just making myself comfortable.”  
Eliza laughed. “Do you do that at everyone’s house?” 

“No, just yours.” 

“Good.” 

Maria shuffled closer and moved Eliza’s hair from a spot on her neck. Slowly, and tentatively, she pressed soft kisses into her skin. Eliza’s skin began to burn. No one had kissed her anywhere more intimate than the lips since Alexander’s affair. One of Maria’s hands slid up her leg, under her nightgown. It stopped just below her breast. Eliza’s breath hitched. She wasn’t sure where this was going but she was excited to find out. 

“I’ve been thinking,” Maria said between kisses to Eliza’s neck. “Since I’m divorced, and your husband knows about us, I should come live with you.” 

Eliza was surprised by the suggestion but definitely didn’t want to interrupt. 

Maria continued, “You could use the company with everything that has been going on. No one would question anything: you’re still married to Mr. Hamilton and I’m in need of employment” — Maria sucked the spot under Eliza’s earlobe — “Besides, it would make it easier to be intimate with you.” 

Eliza liked the sound of that. Every one of Maria’s kisses lit a small fire on her skin, burning and spreading until the only thought in her mind was how much more she wanted. 

Maria stopped abruptly, much to Eliza’s disappointment. “So?” 

Eliza turned to face her. “I would have to ask Alexander. He is the man of the household.” 

Maria nodded. 

“Please keep kissing me.” 

A small smirk creeped onto Maria’s face. “Your wish is my command.” 

Maria and Eliza fell asleep together that night to be found the next morning by Alexander, who was wondering if Eliza was going to join him for breakfast. He couldn’t help but be amused by Maria being in her bed. Once they were dressed, they all met around the dining table. 

“Alexander,” Eliza said once everyone started eating. “Maria and I wanted to ask you about something.” 

“Which is?”  
“Maria thinks it would be best if she lived here,” Eliza said. “And I would like it too.” 

“And if anyone asks?” 

“I’m here to help with Angie,” Maria interjected. 

Alexander sighed. “The world knows I had sexual relations with you. What if they think that again?” 

“With all due respect, Mr. Hamilton,” Maria said. “Your reputation could not possibly get worse and I don’t care about mine.” 

He opened his mouth and shut it. Everyone knew she was right. The affair was already known and people assumed the worst from there. 

“If it will make you happy, Eliza,” Alexander said. “Maria can live here and do whatever she wants from there.” 

“Thank you, Alexander,” Eliza said, smiling. 

Maria’s things came in within the next week. Though her residence on record was a guest room, she never slept anywhere except Eliza’s bedroom. Alexander was slowly getting used to his wife waking up without clothes with someone else. Their marriage at this point was nothing but a cover. Though Alexander never mentioned it, Eliza couldn’t help but assume he was seeing other people just as she was. He was not the type to go long periods without sex. Angie, though Eliza detested phrasing it this way, was easier to manage with Maria’s help. Everything was at peace. 

Then.it wasn’t anymore. 

Alexander never mentioned how much Aaron Burr hated him and never once suggested a duel was on the horizon until the morning he was absent with only a short note. Though he never said the word duel, Maria and Eliza found this early meeting out of town suspicious. They sent for Angelica and made their way to Weehawken, New Jersey. They didn’t tell Angie where they were going. They didn’t want to worry her unnecessarily. 

When they arrived, it was late morning and Alexander had already been shot between his ribs. Angelica arrived later. All three women knelt at his side, in different stages of tears. It was certain he would die, it was only a matter of when. They spoke to him for hours while he laid in pain. Day turned to night then to day again. Eliza never wished death on her husband but in this moment, she wanted his suffering to end. 

As it passed two in the afternoon, Alexander whispered, just loud enough for the three women to hear, “If they break this union, they shall break my heart.” 

Then, he died. 

“Alexander Hamilton,” Angelica said. “For his country, first and foremost.” 

Maria, Eliza, and Angelica took each other’s hands. 

“And for his sexual desires second,” Maria added. 

They all laughed. 

Eliza and Maria didn’t leave Trinity Church until Alexander’s casket was in the ground and covered with dirt. He had done them both wrong yet brought them together. They cried by his headstone. 

“Alexander,” Eliza said to the stone. “I never satisfied you. It took me years to find that was not my fault. Nothing in the world could have satisfied you. You were your best friend and your worst rival. In the end, you valued my happiness even though you had taken it away. And yet, as you died, I still loved you. Now that you are with our Lord in Heaven, I still love you. Not as I did when we started but a love that will never diminish.” 

“You should let go,” Maria said. 

“I have.” 

“No, you haven’t.” 

“You are the only one I love the way I love you. Alexander is a dearly departed friend,” Eliza said. 

“You still think you need him. You never did. You don’t need anyone.” 

Eliza shook her head. “I need you, Maria Lewis.” 

Maria smiled. “I love that name. I love it more when you say it.” 

“Maria Lewis.” 

“Take me home so I can kiss you.”

**Author's Note:**

> There are three different possible last words the real Alexander Hamilton had, that I have heard about, and they were all viable options. 
> 
> 1\. "Remember, Eliza, you are a Christian." 
> 
> 2\. "If they break this union, they shall break my heart." 
> 
> 3\. He never shut up so no one knows what his "last words" were. 
> 
> I went with the one I think fit Hamilton from the musical, option two. 
> 
> Lots of this is historically inaccurate intentionally but I did include some things that were accurate: 1. Alexander Hamilton, was at one point in his life into gardening, and 2. Angelica Hamilton was mentally ill for the rest of her life after Philip died. One theory, which I decided to adopt, was the Philip's death caused her mental health issues. 
> 
> leave kudos/a comment if you enjoyed.


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